This poem started off as just a general look at those times when we feel stupid and chide ourselves for it. I’ve seen so many people recently who seem to be really struggling with self-doubt and fear. Then, a rap-like beat developed in my head. Finally, the words turned very personal. I have Type 1 Diabetes and that requires daily work to maintain my health. I saw the doubt and fear in my own self and feel good for voicing it- I think this poem could apply to anyone. We go down but we can come up again.
UPDATE: I couldn't resist coming back and editing this- clearly needed to sit a bit for editing. 12/19/2016.
Highs and Lows
Cold clenching, heart racing
Running down the hall in silent desperation.
I feel the fool
But must go on
It’s a sweat-soaked, surreal nasty situation.
There is blood, all day long now.
I have to read it, know it and then try to follow it.
I know we all
Have a burden
But there are times this load so overwhelms me.
This pain is, what I feel
Why can’t I slice this urge to be like everybody else?
I cannot lie
It’s so hard
Sometimes my mind screams in endless frustration.
I flash a grin, I wink my eye.
But then the walls rise up without a warning.
Times are tough
All around me
I try to be upbeat but man, it wants to kill me.
Take a breath, slow it down
There are things I need to take care of.
I go to bed
I close my eyes
And seek the warmth of dreams and the sun's rise.