Living in Now: 6 Actions of Gratitude

Gratitude seeks to be expressed to those who inspire.

At the end of my book, Dear Teachers, I listed a few people who have electrified my mind over the years. Krista Tippett is one of those people, and I was reminded this week of her influence when I listened to her December 21, 2017 podcast of a 2016 conversation she had with David Steindl-Rast, called Anatomy of Gratitude.

Brother David was born in Austria in 1926, and has lived a life that’s taught him the importance of living with gratitude. It’s a fantastic interview that I encourage you to check out. In addition, I’d like to list a few connections I see between what he talked about and the overall theme of my January book essays, summed up in the illustration: sometimes we need to GO. This theme applies to all of us.

Gratitude demands awareness of what we have.

To experience gratitude, we must be grateful: appreciative of benefits received, according to Merriam-Webster.. I wrote in Hustle When It’s Time, “There are times we should GO.” We plan ahead so much. We lose track of so much. What we have right now is very precious. It takes effort and attention to see and feel it.

Gratitude cultivates joy, which can be a long term state.

As Brother David described it, the awareness of all that we have, not what we lack or want, can allow us the pleasurable sensation of joy. This is different than happiness, comes and goes with each new acquisition or quest. Joy can be a state of being where we can see that Life is tough, but the gratitude we feel sustains us and gives us hope.

In my own writing, I described that joy, in A Time to Unfurl, as being in the right place, which allows one’s beauty to unfurl like the petals on a flower.

Gratitude gives us the strength to squeeze through the anxiety of change in order to grow.

I loved Brother David’s story of how our birth is our first experience of anxiety. His sense of the term “anxiety” is not the typical helpless one we many times think of today. To him, we feel anxiety when we’re on the edge of growing into something bigger. It’s uncomfortable and scary. However, if we GO, we’ll grow and blossom. If we STAY, if we can’t get beyond the fear, we stagnate and die.

I wrote of this in my essay, Embracing the Storm. “There will be storms. After they pass, we can see the light break through the clouds together.” That last word brings me to my next point.

Gratitude leads to connections with others, which will be our strength.

We’ve all had experiences (hopefully!) where someone has told us, “You can do this! It’ll be great!”. That person sees potential and wants to share their joy. We've also all rooted someone on (again, hopefully!) in that manner ourselves. When we are aware of our gifts, we want to share that feeling and those gifts with others.

Brother David mentioned a quote from Raimundo Pannikar which summed this up beautifully: 

“The future will not be a new, big tower of power. Our hope in the future is…well-trodden paths from house to house. That is the image that holds a lot of promise for our future.”

We grow as individuals and as a whole society when we share with each other on a regular basis. It doesn’t happen when we lock ourselves away. It doesn’t happen when we wait or worry constantly, and we absolutely must come together so that we can give and receive the next action of gratitude.

Gratitude is active availing ourselves of the moment's opportunity.

That was one of Brother David’s last thoughts and brings me back to my own on our need to GO. We get opportunities. We make opportunities for others. When we are filled and living with gratitude, we can give and receive more and more, in larger and larger circles.

That’s a key for success for us all.

Need help practicing gratitude? Check out Unstuck's 9 suggestions here!

Grace and Gratitude

While enjoying one of the many education-related Twitter chats I step into during the week (this one was #WeLeadEd), I was struck by some comments made about grace. The discussion had moved to highlight the importance for everyone to work within a system that honors the fact that we all make mistakes. Several people mentioned needing grace to achieve this.

Grace is a big concept. The Art of Grace website does a phenomenal job describing it and its place in all the world’s cultures. While many are familiar with Christian interpretations, such as those voiced by Fr. Richard Rohr, the concept is found around the globe. In a nutshell, grace means feeling balanced from the inside and with the outside world. You are comfortable with who you are and where you are. With that mindset, you can freely accept failures as temporary.

Grace is universal but it’s also a state that, in my experience, comes and goes. One thing that I feel triggers a state of grace is gratitude.

When we struggle, we can gain some composure by listing things that we’re grateful for: food, shelter, family and friends. We can then dig deeper and describe more specific things we are thankful for: moments, words, places and times. With the comfort we obtain by all this, we can extend that warmth and share it with others. The simple act of writing and sending a sincere thank you note can be a moment of grace, which could end up being the window the other person needed to see a way to experience grace themselves.

If we feel safe, we are able to deal with trials. We feel more able to handle stress. We treat our bodies better by not attempting to drown problems with unhealthy practices. We see obstacles as bumps in the road instead of insurmountable barriers.

Grace and gratitude. Important concepts for us all to remember. Together.

Dream and Bloom

There are days we dream of.

Getting car licenses. That first day of school. That last day of school. The day we get our first paycheck. The day we get the keys to our homes. Our first dates. Our union ceremonies. The day we experience someone or something that we’ve only pictured in our minds. For example...yes, you know I'm going to say it: the BTS concert I just went to.

Our minds paint pictures for us of what could be. We can walk through detailed stories that exist solely within our own heads. And yet, they can feel real and meaningful because of the weight we put into them.

These mental journeys can be helpful. They allow us to have a general plan for how we’ll react in a given situation. They can help us decide what to focus on in our lives. We can stretch the pleasurable feelings by adding anticipation, hope and wild dreams to those Big Days.

And then it’s over.

The world continues to spin and the sun rises and sets. We all basically have less than 30,000 sunrises in our entire lives- if we’re lucky. Those Big Days account for only a handful.

What do we do with the rest of them?

We can very easily slide into a funk after those heady days we’ve longed for have come and gone. We can find ourselves at a loss when routines come back, knocking at our doors, as they always do. However, there’s quite a bit we can do to make the transition easier, however. Personally, I'm not in a funk. It was a great experience and while I'd do it again in a heartbeat, I'm able to move on. I think it can be explained by 3 things I practice in my life.

Celebrate today.

In essence, what we’re trying to do here is reduce the mental distance between “normal” and “Big”. Most of us have loads of pretty average days but that doesn’t mean those shouldn’t be appreciated. Simple moments can be savored and they can become special. Doing what you do with attention can make the most mundane things, like cleaning the living room, a way to show love and to grow. It’s how we treat our average days that define the long-term relationships, careers and overall lives we make for ourselves.

Expand your goal list.

If we pay attention to that day-to-day living, we’ll naturally be able to do bigger and better things for ourselves. For example, by paying attention to what we’re eating we can learn different ways to cook. Learning different ways to cook can bring other people, places and events into our lives. If we really enjoy the music we’re listening to, we might try dancing or exercising to it. Dancing and exercise can increase our energy and mood levels so we can enjoy more music-oriented activities.

Be both inspired and inspiring.

There have been many, many times in my life when I’ve looked at myself as less-than-able. I’ve looked at others in awe and curled up and away from being noticed because I didn’t think my efforts were of value. That’s a really bad practice. If we admire someone, we should emulate the spirit they are showing in our own lives and ways. We should honor their efforts be making our own- whatever that may be. J-Hope wrote this in the lyrics to his song, MAMA (thanks again, BTS-trans!). He sings about how hard his mother worked as he grew up so that he could reach his goals. He declares his gratitude and that what he's doing now will help her moving forward.

That type of cycle (appreciation and effort) can and should be followed by anyone and everyone. By doing so, someday we will be the ones inspiring someone else to step up their own game.

So, if you love singing, sing. If you are inspired by helping children, help children through your job or volunteering. If video gaming or design are your passion, find a way to make that work as a career or hobby. There are no guarantees. Your life will take crazy turns and there will be dark days. However, each sunrise that you get to see is another chance.

A chance to dream, do and eventually bloom.

Dreams:

We’ve all dreamt of something seemingly impossible and imagined what it would be like if it actually happened. Whether the perfect dream or most horrific nightmare, our minds can take us to countless imaginary lands if we allow them to do so with that key “What if…”.

As a teenager, I would lock up in ecstatic glee at the mere thought of meeting a famous singer or actor. Yes, I would have been that drooling, babbling fool bowing before the great and wonderful Other, feeling an overwhelming sense of inadequacy, in comparison.

Today, I still think I would get majorly jazzed, but for completely different reasons. I’d be excited to learn about connections. What do this person and I share? How can we relate? Even better- how can we share those common links with even more people?

In this season of giving, Omaze has an amazing array of experiences available to pick from where you can #1 help some great causes for humanity and #2 dream about that “What if…” in your life.

Yes, we’re all grown up. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t imagine wild ideas. Here’s the cool bit: we can bend those dreams towards something else good and productive that we CAN do.

Sure, I would love the opportunity to hang with G-Dragon and see a bit of Seoul. (And if you happen to put in for that one and win, please let me tag along!) I may never get to write a travelogue of my adventures in Korea and then donate the proceeds to a humanitarian cause of my own choosing. Well, I’d get G-Dragon’s input, of course. I mean, by then, we’d be tight.

However, that “What if…” of mine has already done a few of things. I hope it’s made you chuckle, for one. It’s also given me the chance to reflect on some big ideas and to write you a little message to hope and dream for yourself.

Each Other's Fire

Back in January, I wrote about some of the things that I and my co-workers should be grateful for and why. Here’s a look back:

We have a lot to be grateful for. Grateful for Playworks Coach Jena with her energy and persistence. Grateful for students who play Playworks games like Unfreeze Tag and give each other praise. Grateful for student Junior Coaches who want to learn and work. Grateful for assistant staffing that covers the playground with more than bare-minimums. Grateful for a principal who goes to meetings and who steps in to fill-in any position that needs filling. Grateful for teachers and other staff who embrace ideas like Playworks in their daily activities and who go outside to play.

Inevitably, we sometimes crash. Times change. What interested us previously, becomes tedious or hopeless or even painful. However, there are those people and those moments that touch us in a way that the fire inside is fed a burst of oxygen and WOOMPH! our imaginations are ignited and we again see potential for new and wonderful things.

I can’t order up a dose of rekindling online. In fact, when we need it most, we probably don’t even see the point in looking for flint and tinder. That’s why we always need to be open to being that firestarter! You have no idea when the spark of your smile, hug, text, call or positive comment in line at Starbucks will fall on the waiting kindling of another’s soul to flame up into something beautiful. Remember: you are a part of a great big web of people.

I am your fire when yours flickers.

You are my fire when mine flickers.

Problems Versus Opportunities

When you focus on problems, you’ll have more problems.

When you focus on possibilities, you’ll have more opportunities.

- TheDailyQuotes.com

If you’re in a negative mood, this quote can incite you to do a giant raspberry with rude gestures at it. At least, based on my own experience it can. ;-)

However, that doesn’t take away from the message’s truth. In fact, it affirms it.

Case in point: I have a chronic, lifelong disease: I have Type 1 Diabetes. There are spans of time where everything’s running well. I test my blood sugar, I dose insulin, I live my life and that’s that. Day in and day out, a comfortable, if imperfect, pattern can be maintained.

Then there are other spans where everything’s off. I pork out, I overdose insulin, I underdose insulin, I get hurt so I don’t exercise, I get stressed out and again I pork out and/or enjoy a beer or two or... Rinse and repeat.

Believe it or not, there are times when I feel a level of gratitude for having this body error. It’s trained me to feel my body in ways that others probably don’t or just can’t. It’s taught me to be grateful for all the amazing biochemical processes our bodies do on a daily basis: thousands of things that just happen without our knowledge but without which, we’d die. To me, it’s amazing our bodies work as well as they do! It’s humbling- we think we’re so smart. However, with diabetes, I myself must do what other people's bodies take care of automatically. Sometimes I’m good at it and sometimes, I fail miserably. There came a time when I set a bar and thought, “This is as good as it’s going to get.”.

Over the last 4-5 months I’ve pulled myself up to the best physical and mental shape I’ve ever been in, if I do say so myself. Other people inspired me. I had a mental shift. I saw opportunities. Growth mindset, one might say.

Each person has to be open to the possibilities/opportunity-based mindset. It doesn’t happen overnight nor is it likely to stay forever. We’re all in an awe-inspiring, ever-changing and intricate dance, as I’ve written before. We go up, we go down, we go back up once again.

Possibilities and opportunities. They may come in unexpected forms and uncomfortable times but we will never fail to become stronger if we can see life in those terms.