Dream and Bloom

There are days we dream of.

Getting car licenses. That first day of school. That last day of school. The day we get our first paycheck. The day we get the keys to our homes. Our first dates. Our union ceremonies. The day we experience someone or something that we’ve only pictured in our minds. For example...yes, you know I'm going to say it: the BTS concert I just went to.

Our minds paint pictures for us of what could be. We can walk through detailed stories that exist solely within our own heads. And yet, they can feel real and meaningful because of the weight we put into them.

These mental journeys can be helpful. They allow us to have a general plan for how we’ll react in a given situation. They can help us decide what to focus on in our lives. We can stretch the pleasurable feelings by adding anticipation, hope and wild dreams to those Big Days.

And then it’s over.

The world continues to spin and the sun rises and sets. We all basically have less than 30,000 sunrises in our entire lives- if we’re lucky. Those Big Days account for only a handful.

What do we do with the rest of them?

We can very easily slide into a funk after those heady days we’ve longed for have come and gone. We can find ourselves at a loss when routines come back, knocking at our doors, as they always do. However, there’s quite a bit we can do to make the transition easier, however. Personally, I'm not in a funk. It was a great experience and while I'd do it again in a heartbeat, I'm able to move on. I think it can be explained by 3 things I practice in my life.

Celebrate today.

In essence, what we’re trying to do here is reduce the mental distance between “normal” and “Big”. Most of us have loads of pretty average days but that doesn’t mean those shouldn’t be appreciated. Simple moments can be savored and they can become special. Doing what you do with attention can make the most mundane things, like cleaning the living room, a way to show love and to grow. It’s how we treat our average days that define the long-term relationships, careers and overall lives we make for ourselves.

Expand your goal list.

If we pay attention to that day-to-day living, we’ll naturally be able to do bigger and better things for ourselves. For example, by paying attention to what we’re eating we can learn different ways to cook. Learning different ways to cook can bring other people, places and events into our lives. If we really enjoy the music we’re listening to, we might try dancing or exercising to it. Dancing and exercise can increase our energy and mood levels so we can enjoy more music-oriented activities.

Be both inspired and inspiring.

There have been many, many times in my life when I’ve looked at myself as less-than-able. I’ve looked at others in awe and curled up and away from being noticed because I didn’t think my efforts were of value. That’s a really bad practice. If we admire someone, we should emulate the spirit they are showing in our own lives and ways. We should honor their efforts be making our own- whatever that may be. J-Hope wrote this in the lyrics to his song, MAMA (thanks again, BTS-trans!). He sings about how hard his mother worked as he grew up so that he could reach his goals. He declares his gratitude and that what he's doing now will help her moving forward.

That type of cycle (appreciation and effort) can and should be followed by anyone and everyone. By doing so, someday we will be the ones inspiring someone else to step up their own game.

So, if you love singing, sing. If you are inspired by helping children, help children through your job or volunteering. If video gaming or design are your passion, find a way to make that work as a career or hobby. There are no guarantees. Your life will take crazy turns and there will be dark days. However, each sunrise that you get to see is another chance.

A chance to dream, do and eventually bloom.

Finding Ourselves

“ We all have idols.

Play like anyone you care about but try to be yourself while you're doing so.”

B. B. King

Today’s musing is a cross-cultural, musically-inspired look at a simple direction: be yourself. Seems straightforward enough until you really sit with it for a while.

First, you need to have a grasp of where you started.

When we’re growing up, we’re our parents’ children. We start with their framework and hopefully move on from there. Those first teachers need to allow for, and even encourage, that growth and not simply expect blind obedience. I had a childhood pretty soaked in obedience. To this day, I struggle with self-doubt. I drew today’s illustration.  I have a bit of a talent to draw, however, I never grew beyond the point of an imitator to that of a genuine creator. Why? Simply put: fear. Which leads to my next idea.

Then, you need to have opportunities to face your fears and grow into something else.

Ideally, as we mature we are given general guidance with enough loose reins to allow us to try and fail or succeed on our own and then absorb the experiences before trying again or moving to something else. That, in my mind, is the idea behind the project-based and differentiated learning models in today’s schools. B.B. King’s statement encourages musicians to try playing like someone they admire but he adds that twist again: make it your own. How? It’s not about imitation, it’s about YOU, which brings me to the end.

Lastly, release yourself to your gifts...in their own time

Finally, back to the bird sketch. The bird is a crow-tit, or 뱁새 in Korean. BTS references this bird in several of their songs, especially in one called 뱁새 Silver Spoon with another translation by BTS Trans here. Why? They are going back to an old Korean saying: if a crow-tit tries to walk like a stork he will break his legs. A crow-tit has it’s own ways to be successful- it’s stupid for it to try to be a stork. No matter how hard a crow-tit tries (the song uses the term “try-hard” in translation), it won’t be successful.

Some people may be lucky enough to realize early on the one thing that says to them: this is ME. For most others, I think, it’s a slow discovery. It creeps up on you over time that things feel more comfortable, the world seems more clear and the people around you more dear. Through daily struggles you find yourself inhabiting that crow-tit’s body more readily and you eventually find yourself singing in its- your- own voice.

However long it takes is how long it takes.

Together With You

A new album from BTS came out today and these lyrics struck me as so beautiful (thank you, BTS-trans), I had to share.

“Together with you, I can smile.”

The sun is shining and winds are howling today in Wisconsin. The dry, brown grass and naked tree branches madly rattling about can leave one feeling bleak and alone.

Desolate.

I have a ton of things I need to get done. I have gobs of worries, big and small. I have insecurities, fears and doubts that at times, overwhelm me. Sure, I’d love to “fly” like a majestic swan of rising accomplishment and pride. But many times I fight the urge to “fly” the other way- in tears of defeat and failure. We all do.

Yes. We have to remember we’re not alone.

The details of who we are don’t matter- what we do, who & what we like or what we think. We. Are. Not. Alone.

There are roughly 7 billion of us on the planet as I write. 7,000,000,000 people. We all came from a womb. We all breathe. We all eat. We all sweat in the heat and shiver in the cold. We all have someone around us with whom we could share a smile if we’d tried. I like to sit with that idea for a while: picturing the things I share with people who I am close to but also with those who I only know in passing. It helps build my sense of community. Then, I can actually DO something with those whom I’m not deeply connected because I’ve already made a connection of some sort in my mind. My mindset changes and so do I. I can reach out and talk to someone, volunteer somewhere, write to someone or simply be there to listen to and acknowledge another’s life.

I have benefited immensely from others reaching out to me over the years. It can be terrifying to admit to needing help or being in pain. I cannot express how grateful I am for the words and deeds I have received from others. Some were painful. Some exquisitely put. All have contributed to who I am today.

English writer John Heywood (1497-1580)  is credited with coining the phrase “Many hands make light work.” He also gave us “Two heads are better than one.” and “The more the merrier.”. I find it wonderful that both an Englishman who lived over 450 years ago and a bunch of 20-something Koreans living today all felt the need to remind us all of this key fact in our existence: we are stronger together.

We can lift each other up- we can be each other's wings. Here’s to a week full of wings!!!