Team Humanity: Post-Truth Playing out on our Playgrounds

It’s tough for us adults to attempt living in a world described as “post-truth”. What about the little ones who will soon inherit this world we’re creating? A philosopher took a stab at the big picture in an education & family BBC article this week.

I’d like to ask: “How does a post-truth world playout on the playground?” I wrote about it once already, but I’d like to revisit the idea with a story.

Set Scene:

You’re a recess supervisor. Your job is to walk the school playground, eyes forever swiveling back and forth, up and down, ensuring all the students are getting some play into their busy days within the structure of a safe and inclusive system. Playworks is a great example. You see a student pull another student off the monkey bars by the back of their shirt and take their place. The pulled student lays on the ground in the wood chips, silently looking up and surrounding students continue on.

You approach and attempt a teaching moment on how one should behave on the playground. You are met with an exclamation:

“What did I do!? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

You press your point and describe again what you observed and try to get the student to come up with another, more helpful, series of actions. You’re ready to offer them ideas to do that.

You are met with: a blank stare into the distance. Eventually the student responds hotly with, “They pushed me before. Whatever!” They move to get back on the monkey bars. By now, the student on the ground is standing back up, complaining loudly about how the other child always does this, and even worse, stuff. Other students start congregating, chiming in agreement, listing events while others yell that they should be able to do whatever they want.

You feel a rising sense of frustration and you may grimace as you tell them to go play nicely. You’ve heard a shout of alarm from another part of the playground and you excuse yourself to check on that.

End Scene.

Firstly, what were you originally looking for when you approached the situation? Ideally, everyone has a right to be out there playing. Everyone should have a turn. Anyone can make a mistake, apologize and correct themselves.

Next, what is missing in the participants’ responses- even your own? Answer: Team Spirit. There was an overall avoidance of facts and and over-reliance upon personal beliefs and emotional response. All of it was aimed at one thing: self-preservation. In addition to the pusher’s choices, the pushed person should have made different choices, as should the crowd. The pushed child and crowd should stand up and both should speak calmly and with clarity of what is expected of the team we all call our own: humanity.

How to move forward? How to step ABOVE and BEYOND post-truth?

The beauty of living is that you always have another chance as long as you’re breathing. The situation can get away from you but the teaching moment is not lost forever. In this story, the adult needs to continue to promote effort, compromise, sharing and helping every single day. They need to catch those students making strong, positive choices and with genuineness, applaud loudly for all to see and feel. The squeaky wheel (the shouts of outrage and pain) should not be the only thing that gets greased. During a quiet moment, the adult should talk again about the painful situations- we all have them and we can learn from them.

Sports need rules and teamwork. Humanity needs them as well.

Slainte! Health to You!!

I caught a cool piece this week on the BBC about an interesting group in England that still performs a wassailing (wishing health) blessing on the orchards in Worcestershire. It’s an ancient practice that originally was done to ensure good crops for the coming year and to drive bad spirits away.  It involves drinking. What’s not to like? lol!

As I look out on an incredibly depressing and gray day, I can see why one would be tempted to try anything to banish the bad from one’s life. It feels a bit hopeless right now in the Northern Hemisphere.

The new year is under way and life is falling back into regular routines. Are we eating well? Exercising? Dealing with the bills and family struggles successfully? Are we feeling healthy?

I feel the breath of evil spirits on the back of my neck: whispered desires to quit, hide, snap at people and pork out on a rack of freshly baked cookies float through my head. Those things can all eat away at our health- both mentally and physically.

There are some lines to remember in the old Christmas carol “Here We Go A-Wassailing”:

“Bring us out a table
And spread it with a cloth;
Bring us out a cheese,
And of your Christmas loaf.
Love and joy come to you,
And to you your wassail, too,
And God bless you, and send you
A Happy New Year,
And God send you a Happy New Year.”

My take on these lyrics? Whatever we have, we should share it with others. By doing so, we become richer- healthier. The negative thoughts get burned by the light shared between you and I and we can move forward through these dark days.

So, as January ticks on, let’s smile at each other as we pass. Let’s play with the children in our lives and laugh with them. Let’s “go a-wassailing”to spread health to ourselves and those we know.

Slàinte!

Support the Real You

From Merriam-Webster.com:

Authentic adjective: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character

This word is tossed about quite a bit as our goal for our experiences, food, friends, and overall lives. We want them all to be “authentic”.

With the world at our fingertips, we can (unless someone tries to trick us) find truth with a few taps on a screen. We can also lose ourselves in increasingly realistic digital worlds that feel true. We *are* the rogue or paladin. We *are* going to take that sniper down. We can try on new television and music genres and find favorites from around the world (I’m looking at you, Goblin and BTS).

Which of these things is authentic?

I believe that, except for the intentional deceiver, they can all be authentic. Legitimate journalism uncovers facts. In a video game, we all know the rules and expectations. When this middle-aged woman is jamming to k-pop while going about her day, I’m truly enjoying the moods and melodies created by the artists.

It’s all authentic- true to one’s own personality, spirit or character.

I think the factor that removes all hopes of authenticity is negative intention. There can be no truth with that fly in the ointment. If your actions are performed with the intention to deceive yourself and/or others, everyone is robbed of authenticity.

It all becomes a lie.

So, let’s be authentic and see where it takes us. Whatever speaks to you, acknowledge it and what it is doing for you. If it scares you a bit, all the better. Being uncomfortable allows us to grow.

As for me, I have a confession. That BTS link goes to their 2017 Wings concert schedule, which is sold out. The Chicago date in March? Thanks to a certain someone, I’ll be there on the floor, authentically (and probably loudly and ridiculously) experiencing the spectacle- and I can hardly wait!!

Are We Cultivators or Killers?

At times I’ve been told:

“You’ll regret this decision.”
“I don’t trust anyone who smiles as much as you do.”
“You’re a dumb blond.”
“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

At times I’ve told myself:

“It’s impossible.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“What’s the point in trying.”
“People will laugh at me.”

That old adage, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Yeah, bullsh**. My examples are just that. You probably have a host of your own.

That’s part of my point. There’s misery everywhere and some argue there will always be suffering in the world. If you’re not strong enough inside, if you don’t have the means to see the destruction of these ideas and if you can’t pull yourself back out of the darkness…

These words can kill.

Whether they come from within your own mind or from outside, these words can kill your hopes, your dreams and your ideals. Some have jumped off bridges because of killing words. These firebombs can take your control and incinerate it, leaving you at the mercy of ever-growing doses of destruction. For once you start to believe them, their strength grows like wildfire.

Words are alive. They move. Out of my mind, down my arms and across the keyboard, my words seek a habitat to thrive in. Words out of a parent’s mouth go into the ears of their children where they get processed and then move out again to classroom and personal friends where they can breed and multiply across space and time. Whether we’re rich or poor, old or young, our words live on long after they exit our bodies. For better...or worse.

I agree we can’t eliminate suffering. However, we can make choices every day that, at the very least, don’t contribute to the overall supply that’s hanging around.

Tiny choices, like practicing saying something nice in the mirror or greeting a neighbor or offering someone a cup of coffee and our ear to hear their worries, all add up. They are a gift to something outside of ourselves. They build our empathy- our understanding of others. Small-scale positive choices warm hearts, including our own, and become significant: we become cultivators, not killers.

If we do that, then the urge to demean someone with killing words like those I listed at the beginning will not win in our hearts and minds. Those germs won’t exit our mouths to unleash their blights on the world. If we use cultivating words consistently, then when we are hit with killing ones, they won’t cause our very foundations to crumble beneath us.

Oh, they’ll hurt! However, we’ll be strong enough to acknowledge them for what they are and continue moving forward on our own chosen path.

Time Shouldn't Stop Dreams

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old,

they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”
― Gabriel García Márquez, author of One Hundred Years of Solitude

How old do you feel?

It’s a New Year and that causes a lot of people to reflect on their lives around the world. In 2016, I learned that in some Asian cultures, the New Year means your are another year older. In addition, when you’re born, you’re already 1 year old because the time in the womb counts. Personally, I can appreciate that from a maternal standpoint- pregnancy is a long, drawn out job!

To put this in perspective: imagine being born in 1988. By Western standards, you’re 28 right now. Following the Asian tradition, as of January 1, 2017, you’d look at yourself as being 30. And then you’ll get hit again with it 2 years later when you hit 30 on the Gregorian calendar.

Now, I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been met with quite a bit of angst when it comes to milestone ages such as 30. When it was my turn, I recall people sharing stories of how miserable they had been meeting this age. Me? I was excited. Perhaps because I hoped a new decade would give me some veritas or some respect, after feeling pretty ignorant and small through my 20s, I kind of looked forward to 30.

It’s so easy to get depressed at New Years and at birthdays. We may be plagued with feeling we’re not where we should be or that we don’t have what we have wanted and our chances are fading fast. We may ramp up to hyper mode in an crazed attempt to correct the wrongs and deficiencies we see in our lives.

Let’s not.

Yes, take time at some point to sit alone or with a trusted friend and look honestly at what you’re doing. Dream. Imagine. Admit your life’s truths. Love what and who you are now with the understanding you can grow today, tomorrow and every day after that if you remember YOU AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

Whether you’re 10, 30, 65 or 95, you can dream. It’s your dreaming...and doing...that lift your heart, mind and soul.